Surprise By Eden

It  was Halloween time in SC, but little did Abby know that she’d be in for quite a surprise.

Abby woke up to bright sunlight filling her room, when she remembered that her mother had left on a work meeting.  Abby was 13, and she didn’t mind being home alone. Later on in the day, right around after treating herself to a delicious early Halloween dinner she heard a noise. Thinking it was just the old house or an old prank she ignored it. She listened again, and the noise was coming from the attic, the attic, she had never went into the attic before she thought.

 As days past, Abby kept hearing noises. She obviously did not want to go see what it was, because that’s what people do in movies and it never ends up well. Abby ignored the noises most of the time, until one night… listening to music, she popped out her earbuds and thought, “What can it be up there?” She had to go take a look. Abby walked up the creaky, faded old steps, opened the attic door slowly and closed her eyes. When she finally managed to open them to take a peek, she couldn’t believe what she saw.  

 Spilled water was on the floor, stuffing everywhere, and mini food pieces spread around. Then she saw a note on the floor. She picked it up and saw – Love Mom. Abby saw something flash across the room and go behind a box. She moved the box slowly and saw something she had always wanted… a cat. She realized her mother had left everything needed for the cat. Abby heard her mother come in and ran downstairs. It’s Halloween she thought, but this is better than candy. She hugged her mother and said, “Thank you!

 

 

On the treeCreative Commons License

Maximilian Imran Faleel via Compfight

        

 

3 thoughts on “Surprise By Eden

  1. I thought that the story you wrote was great. I think that it was nice how you put a Halloween surprise instead of something scary. I find that unique because since it is Halloween, most people would write something scary or disgusting. Your story was super creative. I liked how it started with a scare and ended with something she’d always wanted. Overall, your story was great!

  2. Hi Eden,
    You really build suspense in your story:) I also like how you used vivid adjectives to add to the sensory language. I also like how you added a neat Halloween surprise instead of a scary surprise! By any chance did this happen to you? How cool if it did!
    Mrs. K
    P.S.
    I am very impressed with your sophisticated sentence beginnings:)

  3. This was a great story, I liked how there was nothing scary behind the box. I have to ask, what color was the cat?

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